He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
