if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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