I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
