She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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