Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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