But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
