I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
