I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fuck appropriateness.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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