THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
