my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
