I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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