The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
