Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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