It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
