just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I FOUND THE LEGS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
