You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
