Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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