Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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