...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
