i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
