im having a threesome with these popsicles
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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