I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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