I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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