after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
