piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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