He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
