I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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