some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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