i think i have herpe
just one?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
