1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
