u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
