the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
