our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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