You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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