The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize