well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
