If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
