I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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