I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
