Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
