Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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