If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
