gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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