I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
God, I missed his penis.
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