So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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