You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
