dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This house was built for laser tag.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
