Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just want to make out with him forever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
