its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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