i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
