Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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