can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
