areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
