I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
