That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
