I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
