and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize