Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
