Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
