i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
