I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
