i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
