yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
handjob tips. give me some.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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