Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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