well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
