Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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