I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
