I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
