Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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