do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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